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People don’t fib feelings

September 3rd, 2010 Kevin Leave a comment Go to comments

Situation: you call a meeting. You know review of something had to happen prior to the meeting. Did they do it? Did they review the book, financial statement, or report?

How can you truly know if folks did their work?

Often people ask, “Did you do the work?” This can conjure up a fib, a half truth that is not intended to deceive (much). Frequently, to avoid the truth, people will hedge their efforts and fib about what they did or did not do, or what they do or do not think.

Example?

Sure. The next book club meeting arrives and someone is asked if they did the reading. They say, “I read a bit of it.” Not very helpful, nor specific, and lets them escape careful scrutiny.

What do you suggest?

I suggest you ask this instead, “What is your feeling about the book?” This is a fundamental game changer. Go straight for their feelings, not their thoughts.

For what reasons?

One reason: people don’t fib feelings.

Next time you need to know whether something got done conjure up feelings first!

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