Is anyone listening?
Has this happened to you: you share how you experience things and nothing registers with the other person, no one seems to be home?
What’s happening?
This situation can be exasperating, true? Why doesn’t the person care to listen? Why doesn’t he or she just “get it”?
More to the point: what can you do about it?
Next time ask: “Would you like to hear how I make sense of it?”
Why this question?
Asking the other person if he or she wants to know how you make sense of things clears the air. If the other person says “No,” or looks away, or disregards the question, then you know he or she is not interested in your viewpoint. Right then you can stop trying to make sense.
Stop making sense, are you crazy?
Whoa…. I am not asking you to stop making sense completely! Rather, next time just refrain from offering your sense when the other person makes clear they don’t want to hear it. mostly, repetitive sense making in non-receptive ears goes in one and out the other. Nothing sticks and you might get a sore throat!
Then what can you do?
Well, you can stop talking altogether as you maintain a positive attitude and energy level. You can offer something like, “We can revisit this later.” Alternatively, you can persistently inquire how he or she makes sense of the subject and connect what he or she says with what you sense about things.
What should you not do when people don’t seem to be listening?
Whatever you do, do not share your sense of things once the other person makes it clear he or she doesn’t care to hear it. They might be listening for other things, and you can explore those, they just don’t care in that particular moment to hear how you make sense of things. If that is the case, then give the conversation some patience, try a different tact, and over time see what happens.
Let me know how it goes!