Does anyone make sense just like you do?
Here is a question I ask in my communication skills classes:
Does anyone “make sense” like you do, just like you do, day in and day out?
The answer is almost always, “No, not even close!” Sometimes I get, “Yes, my spouse” (what a lucky couple); or, “My dad/mom/daughter/son” (understandable given how genes and environment are dominant reasons why we are who we are); or rarely, “People in my trusted circle kind of make sense like me” (trust forms more easily with people who share like-minds).
With so few folks who make sense just like us, why keep making sense our way?
There’s the $64,000 dollar question. Will it ever make sense to use the exact way we make sense to help us settle arguments, talk about plans, or discuss different people and new places? No wonder we hear this alot, “That makes no sense, why would you say that?”Argh!
We love to “make sense” and there are near seven billion ways to do it!
As many people as there are on the planet: that’s how many ways there are to make sense. So, making sense can get real confusing, real fast. Keep making sense and see how far you get with another person, who keeps making sense his or her way. Those two ways of making sense might never meet, and in the least, it could be a long talk before you get to mutual understanding and common sense.
So what can we do, make no sense!?
No, of course not. We like to make sense because it usually makes sense to do that over time. Here’s the point of this post: just don’t try to make sense right out of the gate. Chill out a bit instead. Realize you are talking with folks who do not share your own unique way of making sense.
What should we do?
Consider how other people you talk with take in things with their own senses. Explore their way to experience things. Find out how they make sense. Watch their non-verbal cues. Pay attention to how they learn and process stuff. Whatever you do, just remember to avoid making sense at first. It’s that simple. Remember, this works because if you make sense exactly your way from the get go, more likely than not no one else will even come close to understanding how you got there! And again, that’s because no one makes sense just like you. So, try not to make sense next time you talk, on the way to finding common sense. I reckon it will work great.
Seek sense first, that’s the answer!
So instead of making sense at first, seek it. Actively go out and question others about their sense making. Seek sense first. Actively investigate how others get to their senses. This will work wonders for your talks, I promise.
Let me know how it goes!