Knowledge Advocate

A gentleman named Augusto Boal was a theater man. He used his expertise to devise a form of theater known as Forum Theatre. The gist of it is that the actors’ words and actions, although scripted initially, change due to insights and observations from the audience. Boal changed what he calls the audience from spectators to “spectactors.”

So tell us what happens?

There are many versions of how Forum Theatre gets performed. In one, a short play is acted out in its entirety. After that the actors begin again and when a spectactor feels inspired, he or she offers a new direction about where the dialogue and action can go. The actors try those new suggestions and the play continues. Sometimes the audience member can replace an actor with himself or herself. Many changes continue and often, the play is seen in a completely different light by its end. Then the group can talk about what happened, for what reasons, and with what impact on outcomes.

So what does theater have to do with business?

Many businesses have used this form of theater to gain business insight and engage in business training. Business ritual can be bound by tradition and habit. When those traditions and habits deserve to change, this form of performance art allows business colleagues to explore with each other how those changes can occur.

How can I learn more?

Feel free to search the net for “Augusto Boal” or “Forum Theatre.” If you add the word “business” in your search, you will stumble upon numerous sites dedicated to this type of interaction. While you might not have the gumption to put on a full board Forum Theatre, you may get inspired to offer your team some different skits and methods used by Boal and others to convey change and growth. Change and growth are very healthy for corporate life.

Enjoy!

Say things in bits of 7 or less. Mostly, reduce it to 3.

Examples: Tell someone your phone number is 555-2961, and not 201-555-2961. Or give them your zip code as 86153, and do not add the “post office four!” In other words, do not say 9 numbers straight in one blast: 861539039. Doing that is inappropriate.

What do we make of this “7 or less” rule?

The 7 bit rule happens, it happens all over the world, you can’t beat it so might as well join it. It’s how our brains work. On average, they process about 7 bits per blast of information (in computer speak: we inherited a 7 bit processor). Mostly though, brains are 3 bit processors. That’s why three things are magic, in bullet points, religion, and friends.

When you say things do it in 7s or less; when you can, limit it to 3 things!

Has this happened to you: you share how you experience things and nothing registers with the other person, no one seems to be home?

What’s happening?

This situation can be exasperating, true? Why doesn’t the person care to listen? Why doesn’t he or she just “get it”?

More to the point: what can you do about it?

Next time ask: “Would you like to hear how I make sense of it?”

Why this question?

Asking the other person if he or she wants to know how you make sense of things clears the air. If the other person says “No,” or looks away, or disregards the question, then you know he or she is not interested in your viewpoint. Right then you can stop trying to make sense.

Stop making sense, are you crazy?

Whoa…. I am not asking you to stop making sense completely! Rather, next time just refrain from offering your sense when the other person makes clear they don’t want to hear it. mostly, repetitive sense making in non-receptive ears goes in one and out the other. Nothing sticks and you might get a sore throat!

Then what can you do?

Well, you can stop talking altogether as you maintain a positive attitude and energy level. You can offer something like, “We can revisit this later.” Alternatively, you can persistently inquire how he or she makes sense of the subject and connect what he or she says with what you sense about things.

What should you not do when people don’t seem to be listening?

Whatever you do, do not share your sense of things once the other person makes it clear he or she doesn’t care to hear it. They might be listening for other things, and you can explore those, they just don’t care in that particular moment to hear how you make sense of things. If that is the case, then give the conversation some patience, try a different tact, and over time see what happens.

Let me know how it goes!

What is “gist?”

Gist has a background in the French and English languages. It stands for “the essence.” In other words, the main thing you need to know.

Where did the word come from?

In olden days, “gist” meant “to lie.” Not as in, “He lies like a rug; he never tells the truth,” but more like, “The idea lies there, just as it is.” In the old French-English legal system, it meant the argument being made was sustainable at law.

Why is gist so important?

“Gist” is another way of referring to “the pattern” of things. And patterns are how we come to understand things. So getting the “gist” is great for us because it means we “get it,” we get the pattern. Once we have the pattern we can make sense of what we are hearing, seeing, and experiencing.

Why are patterns so important?

Patterns are critical because we are pattern making machines. Mostly, we get to know more things based on what we already know, and how we know it. That requires that we pattern the new stuff right on top of or around the old stuff we already patterned before. So, anything new desperately wants to “pattern” to what we already know. That way we can make sense of it. So the gist, for us, is the way to think about something that connects and patterns to other things we already know.

Now what?

Well, next time you want to understand things better, ask people what the “gist” of what they are saying is. Doing that will help them and you because the idea of gist is the idea of getting to the essence of things. It’s short hand for: can you sum up what you just said please?

So what’s the gist of this post?

The gist is: use gist more! It’s a handy little way to ask people to help you understand what they are saying and what it means for you.

Gist away!

Why do we routinely and automatically deceive ourselves? What’s up with that?

The big question: why do we engage in self-deceit?

The answer: mostly we can’t handle the truth about who we are. At least our ancestors couldn’t do that many moons ago, when our wiring got sorted out. Now we are mostly hard-wired to self-deceive ourselves. It’s a coping mechanism. That’s why getting to “know thyself” is highly touted and hard to achieve.

But why are we so good at spotting the deception of others?

Turns out we are great at spotting the deception of others (mostly!… check in with a few ex-wives and ex-husbands to hear about some colossal misses). We can with ease spot the failings, foibles, and petty deceits of others. That’s because the lives of our ancestors depended on it.

Say some more: why exactly are we good at spotting deceit in others?

Scientists attribute the notion of trust as coming from a need for our ancestors to pick the right folks to hang around with to ensure their own survival. Put another way: the portion of the herd that follows the wrong people thins. For eons, then, trust and rapport were non-negotiable survival tools used to get along and to get ahead. Yet with sheer, blinding, and awe-inspiring force we can summons a powerful and rather intense ignorance that deceives ourselves and others.

Why is it we are so good at seeing deceit in others and not in ourselves?

Scientists now claim they figured that out too, that is, why we see deceit in others and not in ourselves. They say that to cope with the strange, odd, and unsettling realization that we are an awkward bundle of contradictions, our ancestors simply hard-wired away our ability to spot deception when we do it to ourselves! Said again: we have wiring that makes us miss the deception we bring upon ourselves.

There it is: our self-deceit is a hard-wired gift from our ancestors!

In short, we are hard-wired to deceive ourselves. Isn’t that the darnedest thing you’ve every heard?

So now what?

Well, we can use the same tools we use for discovering deception in others right back at us. Those tools include visual and auditory inspection of our verbal and non-verbal messages. We can constantly check those messages and compare what we say, how we say it, and for what reasons we say it with a newfound ability to scrutinize those messages. For example, “If I were not me, and I heard that line spoken that way, would I trust it? Would I believe it?”

Have you ever watched yourself on video?

When we see ourselves on video, it’s not the image we have of ourselves, is it? A sure fire way to spot our own deception is to pay attention to our body language. Check in on it next time you express it. Consider what state of mind you think you might be in. And reevaluate. Get to know yourself by verifying your actions and the messages you send others. Do they pass the smell test? Consider yourself a witness to them and experience your own comments and conduct to get a sense of what impact they will have on others. Pay attention to the little things, those subtle cues we all pick up on with others that tell us whether someone passes the smell test.

So can you summarize your advice for us?

Sure. Because we are wired to self-deceive, next time you offer up opinions and facts that might contradict each other, might deceive someone, then with an outsider’s eye smell, see, and hear yourself in action. Your efforts will improve over time and you will get good at cutting away the self-deception. Give it a try!

Good luck, let me know how it goes!

During team building workshops I rely on an exercise that names the verbs we use to tell others what we do. Below I offer some of the key questions that will help you write out your list of verbs. If you have not done this exercise before it will be informative for you.

What verbs do people come up with during the exercise?

Folks use all kinds of verbs so it is hard to categorize the ones they use here in any meaningful way. It is easier, however, to identify the verbs they often leave out: should; could; would; ought; and might. These verbs help maintain confusion, indecision and delay. People also name these: want; need; try; hope; plan; wish. These verbs are weak, they are steps away from our goals. Finally, folks rarely write these next verbs down and yet they creep into our daily life all the time: can’t; won’t; don’t; shouldn’t; wouldn’t. Negative verbs produce negative outcomes.

Power verbs

It turns out there are verbs that power up our actions. To learn more do some research on Robert Tennyson Stevens. He studied the Hopi peoples, among other things, to arrive at power verbs that make goals happen. Here is a short list of such verbs: am; will; can; do; know; choose; have; give; love.

What questions will help us identify the verbs we use most often at work?

Here are questions you can use to do this exercise on your own:

Describe what you do with others in your company?

What do you do for your work with folks outside of your company?

Think about several recent days at work; what is happening? List the actions.

On your way to work, what verbs describe what you will do that day?

What do you get paid to do?

What do people tell you to do?

What do you tell yourself to do?

These questions should help you begin the exercise. Good luck!

What happens when folks talk a bunch and the talk makes its way into the presentations at a crowd sourcing event? Crowd talking! Come hear how it works. Join us at ATC/RISE Rave 3.0 on June 29, at UT, Austin. “Where is it” info below.

What is ATC/RISE Rave 3.0?

The Rave series began when William Hurley, a.k.a. Whurley (a personality some have dubbed the “evil genius”), pitched the concept to Julie Huls and Brian Wong of Austin Technology Council. Whurley sought to rock Austin’s tech scene by encouraging random folks to hear ideas in an “unconference” sort of way. Two Raves later the organizers have delivered on their promise. Now Rave 3.0 arrives with a new program partner in Rise Austin, lead by Georgia Thomsen, and a new mission: crowd talking!

What is Rave 3.0 about?

Rave 3.0’s conversation is tech talent. Two standout presenters have the floor, Valerie Hausladen and Steven Tomlinson. They speak of passion and fortitude and the courage that finds careers that matter. It’s time for careers that fit our inner and outer fabric. These speakers will share practical stuff about how to get there. The good news, they’ll have 300 experts to help them!

What does Rave stand for?

R-A-V-E is Random – Access :: Various – Experts. Point blank: the event welcomes the audience and its expertise. The Rave design seeks each person’s thoughts: this event is all ears. At the event the audience helps make the night happen with questions and energy that will drive the talks forward.

How is Rave 3.0 different from other speakers’ forums?

From the start the Rave series has courted an irreverence for tradition. Initially, the crowd picked the speakers. Novel. Now, the crowd offers its voice. Really. To do that, version 3.0 brings social media to bare with Twitter, Facebook, email, blogs, “question advocates,” and yours truly, the Knowledge Advocate. All these things, and people, will move the crowd’s insights into the moment, to become part of it. The clear intent: make the voice of the people heard– loud and clear.

All right, what is “crowd talking?”

Crowd talking is what happens when a crowd truly voices its thoughts, feelings, and experiences. If the event increases the odds that the audience gets heard it is a job well done. This event leverages audience ideas with Twitter, Facebook, and old school stuff, for example, assigning folks to roam the room asking for content. Specifically, question advocates will capture the questions and thoughts of the audience. The speakers will then riff off of what gets heard as the talks progress. The crowd’s voice comes alive in real time, real fast.

Ground breaking stuff, this crowd talk?

Will this event be ground breaking? Hard to tell until it happens. One thing is for sure: the challenge of maxing out the crowd’s voice is worth it, whatever crowd you are part of. That’s because of the power of the wisdom of the crowd. Awesome stuff.

So what now?

Stay tuned. As mentioned, the event is June 29, at the AT&T Executive Education Conference Center. Search for “ATC/RISE RAVE” on line or head to Facebook for more information:

Please know there is a call to action for this event;

The organizers need your participation now and at the event;

RSVP on the Facebook page and start talking! Thank you!

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=108588169185734

“Mind your Ps and Qs” is an English phrase that means “mind your language.” It may have started in bars where bartenders were careful when measuring pints versus quarts. Or it may come from old printer shops, where assistants were reminded to not confuse their ps and qs when they set the type for the print job.

How is “Mind your Ps and Cues” different from “Mind your Ps and Qs”?

“Mind your Ps and Cues” is a phrase used in the Well Talk™ system. The phrase reminds folks of the process they follow when they speak using Well Talk. The “Ps” in the phrase refers to six key words that all begin with “P.” Those words are preparation, permission, presentation, process, persistence, and promotion. They represent stages in the Well Talk process and are joined by the “Cues.” The “Cues” mentioned in the phrase represent the verbal and nonverbal cues that Well Talk relies on when improving how we talk to each other.

Say some more about these “P” words and how they fit in the Well Talk process?

The “P” words represent stages in the Well Talk process. I will discuss them in the order that they come up during our talks. They all reoccur as a talk proceeds as well.

Preparation

Preparation is the first step. Even as we prepare we remain flexible; this is because we know we will adapt to the flow of the talk as it unfolds. Sometimes in the middle of talks we will take a step back and prepare the next section of the talk together. Preparation considers feelings first and then addresses the issues we intend to discuss. We prepare by considering our emotions, expectations and goals and those of the people with whom we will speak.

Permission

Permission is the most important step, and one we can easily control. Repeated requests for permission are within our control and are welcomed by those we talk with because it shows our sensitivity and respect for them. Permission is generally the first step we do with others, and when we do it well, we repeat our requests for permission throughout the talk. Requests for permission include verbal cues, “May we…”, “With your permission I will…”, or “Can I…” Nonverbal cues are helpful as well, and can include open shoulders, hands at side, relaxed facial muscles, a slight tilt of the head, a soft raise of the eyebrows, and many more. Well Talk requires that permission get reestablished every two or three minutes. You will find the easiest way to do that is with nonverbal cues, like those mentioned and others including an extended palm, a hand on the heart, or a patient use of a pause. These cues all “ask” the same thing: will we continue with what we are talking about, or move on to something else? Conscious effort to request permission builds rapport and gains the trust of others.

Presentation

Presentation is a critical step. How we present ourselves is the thing that others will pay most attention to as we talk. Therefore, as with permission, this is a reoccurring step. Mostly, every moment in our talk is a presentation moment and we can train ourselves to more consciously be in charge of how we present to others. People we talk with generally will compare what we say with the expressions we use. Depending on what they sense, they will generate perceptions of us. This is true when we remain silent as well as when we share our thoughts during questions, statements and answers. Mastery of this step requires a keen awareness of our states of mind, body language, word choice and energy level.

Process

The word “process” has many meanings. Well Talk uses the word to honor the time people need to process whatever it is we say. This step acknowledges that we all think differently and some take less time to process and some need more time. This step reoccurs as well and requires significant patience to master. During this step, we offer few verbal and nonverbal cues so as to let the other people have the space they need to figure things out. This space also allows them to ask follow up questions or take the time needed to process everything as best they can.

Persistence

Persistence is the step that helps close the loop of understanding that we form with the previous steps of permission, presentation, and process. During this step, we repeat, rephrase, and refocus what we say and how we say it. The cues we use are soft, with kind tone of voice, slow speed of delivery, and the nonverbal cues demonstrate that we have an open mind, kind heart, and genuine interest in the goals and outcomes of the talk. At our best, we are holding the moment for reasons aside from our own personal needs. The talk is serving the needs of the moment more than the needs of any one person in the talk. This step of persistence ensures that what is said during the talk has a strong chance of being remembered and acted upon later.

Promotion

Promotion is the step that acknowledges when a successful moment arrives in our talk. It can be a statement like “That is a wonderful way to express that sentiment,” or a nonverbal expression that let’s people know we are thinking, “Aha! That’s it!” Something like, “That is a great point and…” allows the talk to continue as the steps discussed above repeat themselves. This step lets us applaud the thoughts and ideas as they surface. During this step we secure next steps, set action plans, and confirm our commitment to a great talk.

That’s it, just six steps to great talks?

Well, these six steps, preparation, permission, presentation, process, persistence, and promotion, are the cornerstone of the process that drives Well Talk and delivers better talks. There are a couple of other “P” words as well, “practice” and “play” come to mind. By practicing the process and improving your verbal and nonverbal cues, your skills improve by leaps and bounds as well. Then, talks become play as others understand your intentions and appreciate your assistance, even when talks cover hard feelings and complex issues.

Good luck minding your Ps and Cues and may all your talks be deep and healthy!

I think I know what “in the zone” means, but what the heck is a “flow state?”

“In the zone” and “flow state” are different ways of saying the same thing. When athletes like Lebron James or artists like Meryl Streep are on top of their field, living in the moment, we know they are “in the zone.” Lebron’s three pointer moves effortlessly from his hands to the hoop… “Swish,” nothing but net. Same with Meryl, she offers the screen everything she’s got, and we, the audience, live with her in the moment she portrays. Powerful acting. When they live in the moment like this, we can say they are in a “flow state.”

How can I get “in the zone,” as you say in a “flow state,” at work?

The formula is pretty simple. To get in a flow state at work balance challenge with safety. To do that, consider the following things and make sure they are present:

The safe side:                                                                                       The challenge side:

Control                                                                                                   Feedback

Clear purpose                                                                                        Movement

Maintain safety                                                                                      Encourage challenge

When we balance safety with challenge at work we find ego fades as we get engrossed in the work. Time passes without notice and it can be hard to recall specifics of what we did. These are all signs we are in the flow state. Very exciting.

Can I help folks get in the flow state, in the zone, at work?

Of course you can! Here’s how:

1) State the purpose of the work you do together very clearly

2) Share mutual control about the expected outcome so you can work on it together

3) Make sure that what ever gets done, gets done fast and with no delays

4) Along the way to getting the work done provide constant feedback

5) Reduce the need to be “right,” or “judge,” or “resist”

6) Preserve a safe sense of things regardless of what else is happening

7) Push for challenge to make sure things are not too easy

This seven step process offers you a chance to get in the zone at work. Good luck!

Here is a question I ask in my communication skills classes:

Does anyone “make sense” like you do, just like you do, day in and day out?

The answer is almost always, “No, not even close!” Sometimes I get, “Yes, my spouse” (what a lucky couple); or, “My dad/mom/daughter/son” (understandable given how genes and environment are dominant reasons why we are who we are); or rarely, “People in my trusted circle kind of make sense like me” (trust forms more easily with people who share like-minds).

With so few folks who make sense just like us, why keep making sense our way?

There’s the $64,000 dollar question. Will it ever make sense to use the exact way we make sense to help us settle arguments, talk about plans, or discuss different people and new places? No wonder we hear this alot, “That makes no sense, why would you say that?”Argh!

We love to “make sense” and there are near seven billion ways to do it!

As many people as there are on the planet: that’s how many ways there are to make sense. So, making sense can get real confusing, real fast. Keep making sense and see how far you get with another person, who keeps making sense his or her way. Those two ways of making sense might never meet, and in the least, it could be a long talk before you get to mutual understanding and common sense.

So what can we do, make no sense!?

No, of course not. We like to make sense because it usually makes sense to do that over time. Here’s the point of this post: just don’t try to make sense right out of the gate. Chill out a bit instead. Realize you are talking with folks who do not share your own unique way of making sense.

What should we do?

Consider how other people you talk with take in things with their own senses. Explore their way to experience things. Find out how they make sense. Watch their non-verbal cues. Pay attention to how they learn and process stuff. Whatever you do, just remember to avoid making sense at first. It’s that simple. Remember, this works because if you make sense exactly your way from the get go, more likely than not no one else will even come close to understanding how you got there! And again, that’s because no one makes sense just like you. So, try not to make sense next time you talk, on the way to finding common sense. I reckon it will work great.

Seek sense first, that’s the answer!

So instead of making sense at first, seek it. Actively go out and question others about their sense making. Seek sense first. Actively investigate how others get to their senses. This will work wonders for your talks, I promise.

Let me know how it goes!